Shey B

Tip Toe

| 30 Comments

The other day I was talking to my best friend and told her something as I realized it.  I am a ‘heart’ blogger.  We were talking about some serious issues we’ve noticed in the blogging world over the past year and ridiculous it is.  That, however, is a touchy subject that I will not be talking about on my blog.

 

What I mean about being a heart blogger is that I blog from my heart.  I blog what I want to blog about whenever I want to blog about it.  I usually throw caution to the wind to say what I want to say.  This is my blog and I feel I should be able to say whatever I want on here.  Isn’t that the way blogging should be?  I have gotten so caught up lately with the amount of comments {or lack thereof} on my blog.  It’s not until I remind myself that I realize that in truth, I really don’t care how many comments I get on here.  I don’t blog to get popular.  I never have.  If you all feel like commenting, I know you will and that’s that.

I have been going through my followers on Twitter and the list of blogs I follow in my Google Reader and have been unfollowing some.  I hate reading blogs that are super self centered around their business.  Honestly, there is so much more to life than a product provided.  I unfollow people on twitter if they’re constantly insisting that I “need” or “want” their product.  To be blunt, I’m pretty sure that if I felt like I needed or wanted a product I would buy it.  Having a person say that just really turns me off.  Why would the need to say that arise anyway?

It seems like so many blogs that I read just tip toe around things.  I was told once that I couldn’t really express how I felt about some things while I owned my business because it would be like online suicide.  How truly ridiculous that just because I own a business I “can’t” say what I want on my blog or I’m advised against it.  What’s the point in blogging when you’re only blogging things to A. Please others,  B. Get popular,  or C. Talk about your product nonstop?  I for one would much rather read a blog post with real content in it that read about your store 100 times.  Why skirt issues?  If you feel a certain way and want to talk about it on your blog, then just do it.  Is it because you’re worried that someone is going to read your thoughts and then not buy a product from you?  Is it because you’re afraid of being a blogging pariah?  I know countless people that don’t blog things because they’re afraid of the reaction they’ll get from others.  So really?  Is that what’s it come down to?  A virtual high school where we’re all afraid of what people will think of us?  Aren’t we adults?  What does it matter what others will think?  Just because I say the word “shit” in a blog post… does that make me horrible?  Are you judging me now because I said a word that society has deemed bad?

I made it known the other day on Twitter, that I don’t read a lot of the popular “linky party” posts.  i.e. What you wore, wordless, crafting, etc.  Because sometimes I feel that the only reason someparticipate is to show off how well they can spend money.  And to be honest, I mean really honest, I don’t really have any interest what-so-ever in what people wear.  So those posts to me just seem pointless I guess.  I am not trying to offend anyone.  So if I have, then I apologize to you.  But again, I am writing what I feel.  The crafting world has really taken a weird turn for me lately as well.  But that’s another post.  Let’s just say that I don’t read many craft blogs anymore.  I read a few because they’re not solely craft blogs.  They blog REAL too.

Why do we feel the need to tip toe?  They’re OUR blogs.  Not your reader’s blog.  Sorry, but my opinion on all this is, if you really have a problem with what I say on my blog… don’t read it.  Period.  I hate skirting issues.  I am a heart blogger and proud of it.  I blog from my heart.  I blog what I feel, how I feel it, why I feel it.  It doesn’t matter to me what anyone thinks.  Are my blog posts so boring and that’s why there aren’t any comments?  I don’t know.  And honestly I don’t care.  I refuse to focus on the fact that no one comments. Because afterall, this space is for me to reflect and to write about my life and the happenings in it.  It’s not a people pleaser blog.  If I feel it on my heart to talk about issues I feel strongly about, whether controversial or not, then I’m going to blog about them.  If no one comments, oh well.  I do appreciate those that do comment on a semi regular basis.  I won’t lie, comments do make a blogger feel good.  They let a blogger know that people are reading.  While others obsess over Google Analytics, Twitter/Facebook followers, Feed Burner, etc.  I will be over here not caring.  Because I am going to write what I want to write about.  I am going to write what’s on my heart.  Because that’s what I like to do and that’s what I want to write about.  If you don’t like me?  Ummm… it’s your loss.  I know I am a nice person.  I am easy to get along with, and like who I am.  At the same time, if I feel double crossed or screwed over, you’ll know it.  That. Is. Me.

I’m tired of reading self centered content.  I am tired of reading the same content.  I am tired of reading shallow content.  I want to read REAL content.  The minute a blog takes on a fake feel to it, I’m out faster than you can say blogger.  I want to know YOU.  FOR REAL.  Not what you think I WANT to hear.  I want to know how you REALLY TRULY feel.

Stop tip toeing!  Just blog what you feel!  Even if you think people will hate you for it. Because turns out… more times than not, you’re loved MORE for being for real, and speaking your mind than you are for not doing that.

I know this post is blunt.  But it wouldn’t be a real post from me if it wasn’t.  At least that’s what I was just told by Jaime on Twitter.  LOL!

 

30 Comments

  1. I love this. This encourages me to be more real on my blog, too. That is wen I find the time to blog. haha But you are so right. I’ve seen a lot of blogs out their that are just “popularity contests” and that is not cool. Yeah I like craft blogs & like to be inspired, but like you, I love reading about something ‘real’! I read a couple really good blogs last week that had me in tears about what they had blogged. That is real.

    You rock, girly! And what I said is still the truth. Keep it real! ;)

  2. I’ve been guilty of tip toeing, but it’s more out of fear of being hurt by mean commenters. I have lost plenty of sleep and shed many a tear from the nasty things people say on my blog. So I for one try to avoid confrontation. I wish readers would be more accepting and understanding and remember bloggers are human too.
    Keep up the good work Shey!

    • Thanks for the encouragement Linda! I hate mean comments too, so I delete them. ;)

    • Linda, your blogs is one of my absolute faves. I can’t see why anyone would have anything negative to say to you. Some people just really need to remember that if you can’t say anything nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all.

  3. love it that you keep it real and honest! it is one of the reasons i keep reading your blog.
    i blog to hold onto those memories of what we do on the daily (ok, sometimes weekly), because i don’t do it anywhere else – bad mommy moment, but i don’t scrapbook, so it is my way to remember. now i just need to figure out blurb or something so i can turn my blog into a book!
    i do participate in the linky parties, but only to showcase what i have made (when i have something to share, not every week), i figure, i made it, why not show it off…however, i do notice that a lot of the “popular” blogs spend a lot of time highlighting each other! it is fine, i don’t do it to get super noticed or to make my blog bigger with followers or to get a bunch of comments, i do it to share a tip or two that i learned along the way. if it helps someone, cool. if not, oh well, i would have blogged about making it anyway, especially when i am proud of my work!
    thanks for keepin’ it real!

  4. Ahhhhh, such a breath of fresh air :) I am with you that I don’t understand the posts about what you wear (unless you are a fashion blogger or something). I have never done the link-ups because it just didn’t feel authentic. I have learned a lot about blogging over the past year and a half, and the biggest thing I’ve learned is to be myself and not sell out. Thanks for posting this and pushing me even more to be MYSELF!

  5. Man, do I love this post. I think it’s hard for people to embrace real issues because some people just haven’t reached the point of being completely comfortable with the fact that they aren’t perfect. I don’t think people should air their dirty laundry all over the place, but we ALL know that no one is perfect, no ones kids are perfect (even though, Lord knows some people think theirs are) and no ones marriage is perfect. I hope that when (if) you come to my blog you get a glimpse at real life. I would never want to be classified as someone who is fake.

  6. You go girl! I just saw the link on twitter and headed over to read. I was literally discussing this with my Mother-In-law last night and told her that I really appreciate the ladies I have ‘met’ through twitter, who also blog, for their realness and willingness to share their lives and help one another grow… Not just one or two blogs who are in their realm of ‘success’ whatever that ‘success’ is measured by. I enjoy blogging, I do participate in some link parties as I find that they provide some inspiration, but I see where you’re coming from with your comment on those, too… Like you, I am not one to let other’s bring me down. ;-). I think of my blog as secondary to my actual business and goals… Whatever I learn from it is just a bonus. ;-)

  7. Very well said! I love it when bloggers mix things up. It makes me want to go check out what’s on their minds more often.

  8. I think one reason people post so much on blogs that don’t seem to have much fresh, “real” content is that – especially if the blog is popular – their comment isn’t so much about them connecting with the blogger. It’s about being seen by the other people reading and commenting. Hoping that someone will feel like clicking on their name and be directed to their blog or shop or whatever.

    I say this because I have felt the pull to do this, and I have to push myself not to engage in this way because I think it’s shallow. And one thing I believe in very strongly is, “I’m not the only one.” So if I’ve thought about doing that, I know others have.

    And THAT is keeping it real. :) Who wants to admit on a popular blog that they’ve thought about commenting for less-than-sincere reasons? But dude, in addition to all the other ways blogs annoy me by not being sincere, I hate the feeling that we can’t admit to having faults. I mean, in every other part of our lives, we’re tempted to be less-than-awesome, for a variety of reasons. And we have to work at not giving in to those temptations – because they’re flat-out wrong, or because they hurt people, or even just because we won’t be proud of ourselves by doing those things.

    Maybe it’s because once you put something online, it never really dies. So if I say something about myself that reveals I’m not a perfect person, it’ll be out there *somewhere* forever, and people could hold onto it and use it to hurt you. But pretending to be perfect and thinking that all the people around you are perfect is really, really lonely. When you think the people around you have no problems, you feel like you can’t admit your own problems, you can’t be real. I’m talking small problems or faults all the way up to major ones.

    So – I admit it! I, Ashley, have thought about leaving comments on certain blogs just so that someone might notice my comment and take a peek at my blog. And then I had to go scrub my brain. :)

    Here’s to more keeping it real, in every way! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

    • Uhh… Yes. Thought about it. Possibly did it. Then got a brain. And I will also admit… I feel pressure to link up with parties because of the jump in blog views I get. Not that I think anything is wrong with link ups, I just need to keep it real and not change things up and post what I think other people want to read.

    • Love it!! Thanks for keeping it real
      Too!! The end of your comment made me laugh out loud! :)

  9. My blog is pretty random too, because I also pretty much blog about what I feel like talking about. If I don’t have anything to say, I don’t blog. It’s also why I never put ads on my blog – I don’t want to have to worry about pissing off a source of income. My blog is for me.

    I also unfollow people who obsess over follower counts. Seriously, if you have over 500 followers, losing ONE occasionally shouldn’t really matter.

  10. couldn’t agree more. We all started to blog for one reason; ourselves. It is there for us and if others want to read they can, if not, no worries :0

  11. Shey, I was *this close* to emailing you a couple days ago to tell you I appreciate you being YOU. Whether or not I agree, disagree, love, or loath, I appreciate REAL people. Not fluff. And you give me REAL. And I like it.

  12. Great post, Shey. I also believe in being yourself. If people don’t like it, then they don’t have to read it. I’ve found a lot of success with my blog because I try to just keep it real and say what I’m thinking.

    xoxo

    Allison @ House of Hepworths

  13. Great post! I agree with you 100%! That said, I started my blog as a way to keep family and friends updated with our daily lives since we moved overseas 5 years ago. I have friends who post a lot of “heart” issues on their blogs, but for some reason I have a hard time doing so. Maybe because I know it is my family and friends reading it, and not just random strangers! I do enjoy your blog and appreciate your openness and honesty!

    As I was reading your post I thought that you would probably like Peabody’s cooking blog, if you don’t read it already. She is very much a “tells it like it is” kind of person, and I really admire her for it!

  14. I think this is a great post, and I completely agree that blogging should come from the heart. No phoniness, and don’t try to sell me things all the time. But for some of us it has to be more balanced and cautious just because our bosses can read it. Last year when I was applying for my current job, my principal started reading my blog between my 1st & 2nd interviews–she Googled me, & there it was. And she said she loved getting to see that side of a candidate, but I’m pretty sure if I swore or complained about work or seemed…I don’t know, too radical or something it would’ve counted against me. So it is definitely a balance you have to strike when you’re not your own boss. :/

  15. Thank you so much for writing this post. I have been questioning my blog content recently because it’s such a random mix of this and that. I tend to write about whatever I feel like writing about, and therefore some days are more happy, some days are more somber, and others are completely random.

    Then, I began looking at what the more popular blogs were writing about and I felt compelled to start joining linky parties to get more hits to my own blog. I’ve even had conversations with my husband about how I *needed* to start doing WIWW posts. Then I realized how ridiculous I sounded and snapped out of it.

    Since opening up my own handmade biz, I’ve been doing more product posts and have felt reluctant to do it. However, its those posts that seem to get the most comments. So I’m a little torn about it. I’ve also held back from writing certain posts out of fear that it may affect my handmade biz. A few weeks ago I really wanted to blog about a disheartening incident I experienced in the handmade community, but was afraid I would get myself shunned by those who appear to be extremely influential in the community. It’s sad when those who preach about this great “community” and are suppose to inspire us to follow our dreams, only look out for their own. It’s very “clique-y”.

    So thanks for your honesty. It’s made me realize that even though I’m not a popular blogger who gets a dozens of comments, I really do appreciate the handful of people that read my blog, and I’m going to continue to keep doing what I’m doing and just be me!

  16. Oh blogging. The bane of my existence. Personally, I curse on my blog posts. It’s me. It’s how I talk. Actually I’ve never dropped the f bomb, but in real life I drop it hourly. I definitely curb the language for the blog posts, but enough that it keeps lot of readers away and I am just fine with that. I don’t have advertisers so really it’s about being me. I am so discouraged by some of the crafting blogs. There is a bucket full of crap out there. Lot’s of them wanting their 15 seconds of fame. It’s like they post daily just to post and it ends up looking crappy. I have a lot of sewing/crafting blogs in my reader but the blogs I love most are the mommy blogs with no agenda and no crazy timeline. If you post once a week good for you. If more comes to mind… great. I sure wish you didn’t have the drama you elude to. As a curious person I’m dieing to know what caused all this. It’s like I feel defensive about what people say about you. Boy, blogging is a strange thing. I only started commenting on your blog once you started really laying it out there so that’s food for thought. Have you seen some blogs getting over 200 responses for a recipe they tried? Hmmm. weird I say.

  17. I think Courtney (from Mommy Matters) said it perfectly in her comment! Some people are afraid to show the imperfections of their life & family. But we ALL have imperfections, and I for one like to see those posts because they help me realize I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who argues with my husband, or gets a big fat F as a Mom some days, or whose kids have a monumental meltdown in Hobby Lobby (both of them. at the same time) :)
    I love craft posts, and sentimental posts, and happy wonderful posts too, but if that’s all someone ever blogs about…I’m out.
    Thank you for being willing to share your heart with your readers.

  18. Whoops, that was not supposed to be a smiley face next to the comment about my little ones melting down in Hobby Lobby. I assure you I was not smiling. Although I do look back now and laugh. What else can you do, right?

  19. I’m only a tip-toe-r sometimes. Most of the time I put it all out there and TALK about what I want to. There have been a few times lately when I’ve done it in a “quiet” manner, by writing anonymous letters and stuff like that, but mostly I am fine with talking about what *I* want to talk about on my blog.

    I need to become braver, and my blog-skin is growing thicker so that should happen soon, and this is a little push toward bravery!

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