Shey B

News That Changed Everything

| 16 Comments

Life can be interesting sometimes.

Life can be hard sometimes.

Life can be full of drama, hatred, bullying and anger sometimes.

But those are nothing compared to when you receive news that makes you think life is short, unfair, and scary sometimes.

 

One day not too long ago I was sewing and my day was going just fine.  My mom called, which I thought nothing of because my mom calls me often.  But it was what she said that had me shouting “WHAT?!” in her ear and dissolving into hysterical crying.  4 little words changed not only my life, but my perspective on everything.  She said to me, “Hey sweetie, your dad has cancer.”  Immediately I could not compute these words.  I just kept saying “what?” because the words weren’t registering.  When they hit me it was like a punch in the stomach.  And I immediately burst into tears.

My dad has cancer.  My world stopped and nothing else mattered.  Living a life without either of my parents is unfathomable.  I can’t nor do I ever want to imagine it.  My dad adopted me when I was 13. He has been in my life since I was 5.  He’s the only father I’ve ever really known and he’s the only husband I’ve ever seen my mom with.  He is my dad.  He’s an amazing man and the thought of him not here anymore spurred on the hysterics.  The thought of my mom alone without my dad with her, made the tears fall faster.  The thought of him not being a phone call away brought on the sobs.  This man has been amazing to me for 25 years and he’s loved my mom with all of his being for that long.  Admittedly I was mad at God at first.  How could He do this?  My dad is only FIFTY!  This is unfair and cruel, were my thoughts.  I’m a daddy’s girl.  I want him around always.

But God knew.  He knew what was to happen next.

Days later my dad was told his prognosis was excellent.

More days later he had surgery.

Hours later we were told…. he is CURED!  He is CANCER FREE!

And I cried.  I cried because my dad is ok.  My dad is still here.

God knew that my dad would not have cancer for long.  He knew all along.

But mostly, I think he knew I’d need this experience personally.  Because he knew I needed to have a new perspective on life.  I needed to realize what’s most important in my life… what REALLY truly matters.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.  Especially over the last couple weeks.  I’ve been thinking about what’s important.  I’ve also been shown many different things lately… hate, love, drama, laughter, crying, hatred, comfort, and more.  I’ve seen what happens when negativity is focused on.  I’ve seen what happens when hate is at the core of things.  I’ve seen reputations being burned to the ground all because some have nothing better to do than focus their time on it.

Let me tell you something… when you’re told one of your closest family members has cancer… NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.  Because you then realize LIFE IS TOO SHORT to act in ways that are hurtful to others.  LIFE IS TOO SHORT to treat others with hate.  LIFE IS NOT TOO SHORT however to stop all of that and focus on the positives instead of the negatives.  LIFE IS NOT TOO SHORT to just focus on yourself and your family and their needs and your needs.

My life is too short to focus on the hate this world has in it.  I’ve been trying so hard to turn away from that part of the world.  I want to embrace the realistic side of the world where, yes we have issues, yes we have complaints, but we aren’t so focused on that that it tears other’s down in the process.

In ALL of this over the past weeks I have come to one conclusion.

I don’t want to be part of the handmade business community anymore.  I’ve decided that my time is MUCH better spent focusing on what IS important… like my kids, husband and parents.  I have been thinking so much about this lately.  Thing is… my heart is just not in it.

Therefore… for a second time {and last time} I’m closing down my business.  This Friday.

If it’s one thing that word ‘CANCER’ does it makes you think straight.  Makes you look at things differently.  Is life really worth complaining that much about?  Is life worth watching my kids entertain themselves so mommy can work?  NO WAY.  I’m choosing what’s most important to me, and in a way I’m relieved.

I choose to focus my life on the positive.  Will I fail?  It’s likely.  But I’m going to do my best.
Dad… I love you so much!  Words can not express how much you mean to me and how blessed I feel that you are my dad.  God is good for what He’s blessed us with.  God is good for healing my dad.  xo

 

16 Comments

  1. Oh Shey… I love you. I started crying when I read this.
    It’s so amazing how several words can change the entire outlook of our lives. But I am so happy that you’re going to be wrapping yourself in what matters to you. And it’s not going to just impact you in a positive way, it’s going to impact the ones you’re spending time with as well.
    You always read about so many people who can’t figure out how to balance it all. Who constantly leave their family on the sidelines and then feel regret and sadness about it later. I’m seriously so happy for you that you have chosen to reconnect with them.
    I love you girl!!!

    • Steph, I love you! Thank you for your never-ending positivity and encouragement. I look forward to our friendship in the coming days/months/years because you’re truly a great friend. xo

    • I agree with Stephanie and I couldn’t say it any better than she did. I’ll be praying for you as you transition out of your business. :) HUGS!

  2. although I dont think I have commented here before I have popped in over the past few years..I have to tell you that even though we have never met, I have always felt you were a strong person & it is a quality I admire. It seems you dont take guff from people and I absolutely LOVE that! I know someone who kind of knows you and spoke very highly of you & that you didnt take crap from a certain person I dont particularly have great experiences with either…

    so to the most important thing. I am SO glad to hear your dad is going to make it and that you are able to envelope yourself in family at this time. Time is so short, yet so long but we only get one chance and I know you will never regret giving yourself completely to life and all that it has to offer. I wish you all the best in this & so much LOVE, much LAUGHTER and MANY MANY memories to cherish as the years go by. [yes, this is starting to sound like I am 80. I am aware. ha!]

    also, I would love to connect sometime. I recently left the photography/handmade community last fall. I worked my tail off all of the last year and the summer was grueling…and finally I realized the juggling act with my precious little girls & husband was NEVER going to be worth it and that those who were making my journey an uphill battle filled with drama and competition were those mostly without people in their lives to love or they were severely hurting in those loving relationships and that it was NO wonder they had so much time to try and tear me down, instead of seeing me for who I was. Let me also say, I went ABOVE & BEYOND for those people too. Actually befriending them, hosting dinner parties, you name it…only to be completely used & alienated. lesson learned. totally listening to my husband next time when he says he can sense it with these women a mile away. We both want to eventually teach our girls about how “women can be such biotches” and not to scare them or make them defensive but to make them strong & confident & NOT FOLLOWERS :)

    Now, I invest in me. My health suffered in the fall & actually is still in the process of recovery. I invest in my family, my relationships & when I meet people I always smile & wave & give my best because I would rather be known as kind than be brought back to bitter or hurt. I do stay to myself now but Ive learned I enjoy it & I live in the middle of nowhere, pretty much. HA! google east carbon, utah :)

    I wish you all the best & I really do mean it when I say I would love to connect! I admire your strength, work & your ability to recognize how big the small things really are and want them in your life.

    All my best.
    Air

  3. Shey,

    First, I’m glad your Dad is on the “good” side of cancer. I was also adopted by my Dad, who married my Mom when I was 4. They divorced later but he never left my life and has been the most amazing father a person could ask for. He’s actually the best person I’ve ever known and I dread the day he’s no longer here. I hope that won’t come for a long time.

    I’ve watched so much drama come & go in this community and it’s really sad. I’m glad you’re stepping away from some of the things which feed the drama, and focusing on your family, on things that build up your spirit, not tear it down. I’m working on doing those same things.

    The good thing is that you can still be a handmade rock star, you can still engage others online – you don’t have to do it with the pressures & expectations & scrutiny that comes with having it as a business. I hope you’ll be able to continue on with the fun, positive parts of this world – even if you take a break from all of it for a while. And hey, if you take a permanent break, stop sewing, delete your blog, Twitter . . . I enjoyed “knowing” you. :) You gotta do what you gotta do, you know?

    Ashley

  4. Sorry to hear about your dad, am glad he is on the mend!! Thoughts and prayers are always with you my friend!

  5. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve been there and I don’t ever wanna go back. My dad has been cancer free for 10 years now, I was younger when I found out, but at any age it’s hard.
    Glad he’s ok!
    xoxo

  6. So glad to hear that Shey! They found a tumor in my MIL’s colon last Wednesday and by Friday she was having surgery on Tuesday. The day before we did learn it was cancer. She had surgery today and they had to remove the entire colon, but they didn’t see cancer anywhere else. We are praying that the surgery will be it, but we are still in waiting. It was a big relief to know that they weren’t seeing other cancer and it won’t be able to come back to that area.

  7. I am so happy to hear that your dad is doing well. I almost lost my dad last month (the day before his 70th birthday) when he had a massive heart attack & arrived at the hospital with an estimated 12 mins left to live. He’s doing good now but wow, what a wake up call that was.

    I’m sad though that you are shutting down. Can you sell the biz? You’ve built so much over the years. I am also sad that I didn’t get a strap cover yet! Let me know if find a random piece of inventory lying around!

  8. Three years ago this week my 37 year old husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I know exactly what you mean when you hear those words. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach while simultaneously sucking all the oxygen out of the room. We were very lucky and his cancer was removed, next month we will find out if he has been cancer free for 3 years.

    It has been a rough road, but we have been so blessed. We now know who our real friends are and what really matters in life.

    God Bless you and your family. I pray that your dad stays cancer free and that closing down your business brings you peace and happiness.

  9. Shey,
    HUGS to you to start with darlin’. God leads us where he wants us to be. He has a plan for you…that is obvious. Be blessed.
    Paige

  10. What a sweet post dedicated to your father and what a blessing that he is ok. Focusing on what life truly is about really is humbling.

  11. Shey, you are one of the strongest women I know. I’m so sorry you and your family have had to go through this, but it is absolutely wonderful he is on the mend and will be with you all for a long time to come. Your family is incredibly lucky to have you, and I wish you the best in all you do and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. xo.

  12. So glad you dad is ok! I sometimes feel the same way. It’s hard to have a business and a family and no it doesn’t balance out. Good for you!

  13. I often feel that way about blogging, and when I get to that point it helps to reevaluate why I do it. This past week, my therapist and I were talking about a recent fiasco I had with some mom bloggers when she asked me “Why do you do it? Why do you blog?” After talking with her about it for a while, she told me something that has really stuck with me- IF IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, DON’T DO IT. IF SOMEONE MAKES YOU FEEL BAD, DON’T KEEP THEM AROUND IN YOUR LIFE.

    It sounds so extreme and black and white but it makes a lot of sense. So maybe if you can find the balance of being creative but still feeling good, and avoiding all of the nonsense that makes you feel BAD about it, that might help! <3

    And I am so, so happy for you about your dad's super speedy recovery.

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